A fresh new start. .
.
Forgiveness of the
past. . .New heart and a new life. . .
The old has gone and the new has come. . .
I grew up in a
family where everything is a competition. I'm a member of something where you
have to prove yourself to everyone. But my situation is more difficult coz I
don't know who my real father is, so the pressure is twice.
At least that's what
I remember. . . coz last time I checked I'm at the worst case.
I'm the eldest in
the family and everyone is expecting so much from me. Living in that kind of
environment didn't give me much time to find myself. Not knowing who my real
father made it harder for me coz the "feeling of rejection" built up
in my system, coz obviously I've experienced that in such a very innocent
situation. But I didn't hate the world for that, for some reason it made me
more excited to find my true purpose in life.
In my 22 years of
existence in this world, some of my questions has been answered and there are
more questions are being brought up in my thoughts as I wander this place.
Forgiving things in my past wasn't easy. I made decisions that weren't a piece
of cake for me. But I was given a chance to start something new in my life.
Meeting my real Dad
and that is our Lord God was the greatest of all. He gave me the sense of
direction where i should go and He completed my identity. I don't need my
biological Dad for my humanity to be completed coz he isn't my creator, he was
just an instrument used by God for me to exist. So, I forgave Mr.
Idontevenknowyourfullname, my father for whatever he had done to me and my mom.
Now, I'm an
architecture graduate and soon to be Architect. I’m still facing the hurdles of
the world, still fighting the battle of life, moving forward with a new heart
and more refined life. I still love staring at sunsets, I still like the way
afternoon breeze touch my skin and I still long for a little game in the rain.
But without the unanswered thoughts I have before but with thankful thoughts I
have for God.
Driven with passion,
I'm ready to make my life an inspiration to others. I'm ready to do things to
show God's greatness and to make my dreams come true through God's will. Though
I don't have a perfect family and though I wasn't born rich unlike others, I'm
still thankful coz being in that place made me who I am today. God molded me in
a way that I can be tough through everything. With suffering I became someone
who can tolerate pain and make it through hard times. Through discrimination I
became someone who has a strong determination to prove them wrong and stand
firm in my principles.
Perceptive eyes
watching you all the time may not be easy in any case, but it's all worth once
you've proved to them that you are much capable of something with your beliefs
that they thought was crazy. All the bashing, all the hard words won't matter
coz you know within yourself that they won't knock you down.
Before I used to
say. . . Past is my definition (my old URL) . . .
But now, I'm
Cristina, 22, Philippines, a Princess of God and I'm proud to say. . .