thoughts on the rush

I'm in an emotional hurricane lately. I don't know what to do with all this confusion in my head. I didn't go to work to have time for myself and to ask questions to my Dad, our Lord God. I'm about to make the biggest decision in my life.

Taking my ALE board exam is really getting on my nerves. I know I have this feeling of great determination that I can do it, but there's another side of me that maybe I can't. I'm so confused. So, here i am. . . blogging all my thoughts out. and I'll be reading my bible later ad have my devotions and maybe God will reveal to me what to do.

yes or no?

the title before my name

This photo reminds me of everything I wanna be by January 2014.
I'll be taking my board exam and I just can't wait to "go to war".
If it's God's will, then that title "Architect" shall be before my name.

reading and getting lost

I'm one of a bookworm. I love to read and get lost with different characters.

Mitch Albom's books are my favorite of all. It speaks right to my heart. I barely read love novels, I'd rather read and spend time with life inspiring books that could motivate me to do better in life. If I'm feeling down I'd pick a book and get lost for a while or if I just wanna pass the time I'll put my earphones on and grab a nice piece to read on.

Books are the glass of council to dress ourselves by.

wind in my hair

wind in my hair,
i was there,
i remember it all too well

One of my favorite shots.. Taken by my friend back in our college days. She's one of a great aspiring photographer, coz she made me look like a real model. We used to have photo shoots back in college when we have spare time after our mid-term exams or finals. I am my own stylist and since I don't know how to put make-up on my friend is doing it for me. But now, I'm learning a bit about make-ups or such.

simple as a glass of chocolate

I'm Cristina, a proud princess of God, 22, creative by nature and unique in thought.

An architecture graduate and an aspiring designer in fashion.

Recently working in the field of curtain wall with Permasteelisa Philippines Inc.

And by January 2014, I'll be taking my architecture licensure examination.

Funny, fashionista, fun to be with, passionate, a bit melodramatic and crazy in some ways.

Those were just some of the words my family and my friends use to describe me. For some people, they say I'm a snob and "maarte"… (Well, I don't know them and I don't have the syndrome of "feeling close")

But if I'm going to describe myself, I'll break it down like this. . .

Simple as a glass of chocolate.

That phrase above simply defines me in a way.

I'm an average person just like everyone else. I dream a lot of things and believing to make them come true in God's time. I like sunsets, white roses, star gazing, vintage, lace tops, dresses and pink, brown, white are my favorite colors.

I want to be a fashion designer when I was a kid but I guess everything changes, coz I pursued architecture. But if time permits, I'll pursue my first love.

I'm a dreamer, I dream about big things to happen my life, like having my own house, my own clothing line and a simple settled life someday. A life with no drama but more with happy and contentment in things.

I'm a big fan of weddings, that's why I wanna be a wedding organizer one day . . . (another career I wanna chase) . . I love weddings, though I don't see myself married in the future coz I'm still unsure. I love happy endings though, fairytales, cheesy love stories and all.

I cry a lot about certain situations like seeing street children begging for money. My heart breaks when I see old people still working just to make a living. I wanna make a difference about it someday. I wanna have my own charity helping abandoned kids, Lolos and Lolas. I didn't have the chance to take care of my grandma for she passed away too soon so I wanna take care of others coz I know how it feels to be rejected.

I'm a person of determination and great passion. I won't stop 'till I make my goals accomplished. I believe I'm here in this world to make a difference and touch people's lives. I believe God has a mission for me.

Oh… another facts about me.

I love chocolates, cherry blossoms though I have seen them only in photos.  I like dress ups, I eat a lot, to write down my feelings in a diary or on a piece of paper. I like road trips; I wanna travel the world someday. I like hearts, a certified bookworm and I love to eat pocky.

I appreciate simple things like bicycle rides (my hobby), a walk in the park, simple conversations, spending time in cafes while reading my favorite books and listening to Kindie and christian music.

I'm a fan of Kpop, I watch a lot of korean movies and dramas but I love action and horror movies too. I just love going to the movie house with my friends when we unwind in the certain time of month.

I love my quiet time with my Dad, our Lord God. I love nature a lot; I grew up surrounded with big hills, trees and some of God's works of art.

Yes, as sweet as a chocolate is my personality. . . Most people realize me that way. . .

An outgoing person and full of positivity. . I guess they're right..

God gave me a new heart and a new me.

Putting my past behind made my life very different.

It's set in a more simple way, to simply love, live and pray.

Life is very beautiful.

It is a great experience and a wonderful gift to have from the Lord. Giving us a chance who we could be and explore His magnificent creations.

SIMPLE as the stars in the sky.

Like a GLASS, I'm vulnerable.

And a personality as sweet as a CHOCOLATE.

And that's me.

passion is my definition

A fresh new start. . .

Forgiveness of the past. . .
New heart and a new life. . .
The old has gone and the new has come. . .

Staring at sunsets, feeling the afternoon breeze and playing in the rain. . . Those things gave me a pretty good start to have deep thoughts why do I exist in this world. As time passed by and as I'm growing up these thoughts became more surreal to me.

I grew up in a family where everything is a competition. I'm a member of something where you have to prove yourself to everyone. But my situation is more difficult coz I don't know who my real father is, so the pressure is twice.

At least that's what I remember. . . coz last time I checked I'm at the worst case.

I'm the eldest in the family and everyone is expecting so much from me. Living in that kind of environment didn't give me much time to find myself. Not knowing who my real father made it harder for me coz the "feeling of rejection" built up in my system, coz obviously I've experienced that in such a very innocent situation. But I didn't hate the world for that, for some reason it made me more excited to find my true purpose in life.

Who am I?. . . Where could I be?. . . Where Should I be?. . .

In my 22 years of existence in this world, some of my questions has been answered and there are more questions are being brought up in my thoughts as I wander this place. Forgiving things in my past wasn't easy. I made decisions that weren't a piece of cake for me. But I was given a chance to start something new in my life.

Meeting my real Dad and that is our Lord God was the greatest of all. He gave me the sense of direction where i should go and He completed my identity. I don't need my biological Dad for my humanity to be completed coz he isn't my creator, he was just an instrument used by God for me to exist. So, I forgave Mr. Idontevenknowyourfullname, my father for whatever he had done to me and my mom.

Now, I'm an architecture graduate and soon to be Architect. I’m still facing the hurdles of the world, still fighting the battle of life, moving forward with a new heart and more refined life. I still love staring at sunsets, I still like the way afternoon breeze touch my skin and I still long for a little game in the rain. But without the unanswered thoughts I have before but with thankful thoughts I have for God.

Driven with passion, I'm ready to make my life an inspiration to others. I'm ready to do things to show God's greatness and to make my dreams come true through God's will. Though I don't have a perfect family and though I wasn't born rich unlike others, I'm still thankful coz being in that place made me who I am today. God molded me in a way that I can be tough through everything. With suffering I became someone who can tolerate pain and make it through hard times. Through discrimination I became someone who has a strong determination to prove them wrong and stand firm in my principles.

Perceptive eyes watching you all the time may not be easy in any case, but it's all worth once you've proved to them that you are much capable of something with your beliefs that they thought was crazy. All the bashing, all the hard words won't matter coz you know within yourself that they won't knock you down.

Before I used to say. . . Past is my definition (my old URL) . . .

But now, I'm Cristina, 22, Philippines, a Princess of God and I'm proud to say. . .

PASSION IS MY DEFINITION.